keeping abreast ...
Ferrari is giving the Pope a £250,000 racing car to celebrate 26 years as pontiff. Jack Nicholson once interrupted his love-making to eat an entire apple pie. US schools have banned Halloween because they are worried about offending real witches. Women actually have four G-spots according to Desmond Morris. The Japanese are about to market vibrating condoms. Ukrainians are being offered a free striptease to encourage them to vote for Viktor Yanukovich in the presidential erections. A teacher in India was suspended for forcing students to eat cow dung. The entire staff at another school was sacked after it was found they hadn't been to work for 23 years. According to a survey the French have sex on average 137 times a year, the Japanese a mere 46. The British take longest to get warmed up. A 13-year-old Lincolnshire boy grew a 700lb pumpkin by feeding it a pint of beer a day. Callers reporting faults to British telecom company NTL were told: "We don't give a fuck about you. We are never here. We just will fuck you about, and we are not going to handle any of your complaints. Just fuck off." A model on a German reality TV show had honey licked off her body by two goats. Actress Kate Winslet tried to help a friend win a competition by offering her knickers on radio. "Do you want them clean or dirty?", she asked. A Slovakian pensioner fed up with footballs being kicked into his garden hired a tractor and ploughed up the pitch. A Japanese man has invented a mobile phone ring tone that increases women's breast size. A Romanian village was left deserted when its inhabitants fled in panic after mistaking disco lights in a nearby town for an alien invasion. A Serb fell asleep in shallow water and woke to find his penis clamped in the pincers of a large crayfish. A passing hiker alerted rescue services who forced the shellfish to loosen its grip. The man later cooked and ate it. An ice cream company in Chile has invented a lollipop that doesn't melt. A Scarborough man pulled his own teeth with rusty pliers because he couldn't find an NHS dentist. A Bedford couple named their son Drew Peacock before realising how it sounded.
Ferrari is giving the Pope a £250,000 racing car to celebrate 26 years as pontiff. Jack Nicholson once interrupted his love-making to eat an entire apple pie. US schools have banned Halloween because they are worried about offending real witches. Women actually have four G-spots according to Desmond Morris. The Japanese are about to market vibrating condoms. Ukrainians are being offered a free striptease to encourage them to vote for Viktor Yanukovich in the presidential erections. A teacher in India was suspended for forcing students to eat cow dung. The entire staff at another school was sacked after it was found they hadn't been to work for 23 years. According to a survey the French have sex on average 137 times a year, the Japanese a mere 46. The British take longest to get warmed up. A 13-year-old Lincolnshire boy grew a 700lb pumpkin by feeding it a pint of beer a day. Callers reporting faults to British telecom company NTL were told: "We don't give a fuck about you. We are never here. We just will fuck you about, and we are not going to handle any of your complaints. Just fuck off." A model on a German reality TV show had honey licked off her body by two goats. Actress Kate Winslet tried to help a friend win a competition by offering her knickers on radio. "Do you want them clean or dirty?", she asked. A Slovakian pensioner fed up with footballs being kicked into his garden hired a tractor and ploughed up the pitch. A Japanese man has invented a mobile phone ring tone that increases women's breast size. A Romanian village was left deserted when its inhabitants fled in panic after mistaking disco lights in a nearby town for an alien invasion. A Serb fell asleep in shallow water and woke to find his penis clamped in the pincers of a large crayfish. A passing hiker alerted rescue services who forced the shellfish to loosen its grip. The man later cooked and ate it. An ice cream company in Chile has invented a lollipop that doesn't melt. A Scarborough man pulled his own teeth with rusty pliers because he couldn't find an NHS dentist. A Bedford couple named their son Drew Peacock before realising how it sounded.
posted by alan at 22.10.04
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