those Women of Spam refuse to go away

Brittney Berg was frigid
She never let a man
Caress her rosy nipples
Or even hold her hand
But she could flirt could Brittney
And she had such pretty eyes
All men found her sexy
But if they lingered on her thighs
A quick slap for their trouble
Was the best they could expect
And Brittney's shrew-like voice
Saying 'please show some respect!'

But Brittney's famed 'come hither' look
Refused to go away
It caught Nathaniel Pikestaff's eye
One fateful day in May
The sap was rising all around
When Brittney's heart began to pound
To a rhythm she had never found
They fell together to the ground
She felt his hot breath on her neck
Gasped, 'oh show some disrepect'

And the rest, I'm pleased to say,
is history.