Vicar: Come in.
Kirkham: I wondered if I could have a word with you for a moment.
Vicar: By all means ... by all means. Do sit down.
Kirkham: Thank you.
Vicar: Now then, a glass of sherry?
Kirkham: No... no thank you...
Vicar: (getting a bottle from the cupboard) Are you sure? I'm going to.
Kirkham: Well, if you're having some, yes then, perhaps, vicar.
Vicar: (slightly taken aback) Oh... well there's only just enough for me.
Kirkham: Well in that case I won't, don't worry.
Vicar: You see, if I split what's left, there'd be hardly any left for me at all.
Kirkham: Well, I'm not a great sherry drinker.
Vicar: Good! So, I can have it all ... now then what's the problem?
Kirkham: Well, just recently I've begun to worry about...
(The vicar has been looking through his desk. He produces a bottle of sherry in triumph)
Vicar: Ah! I've found another bottle! You can have some now if you want to.
Kirkham: Well... yes, perhaps a little...
Vicar: Oh you don't have to. I can drink the whole bottle.
Kirkham: Well in that case, no...
Vicar: Good! That's another bottle for me. Do go on.
(The vicar opens the bottle and pours a glass, drinks it and replenishes it again)
Kirkham:' I've begun to worry recently that...
(There is a knock on the door)
Vicar: Come in!
(A smooth man, Mr Husband, enters carrying a smart little briefcase)
Vicar: Ah, Mr Husband ... this is Mr Kirkham, one of my parishioners, this is Mr Husband of the British Sherry Corporation...
Kirkham: Look, look, perhaps I'd better come back later...
Vicar: No, no ... no do stay here. Have a sherry... you won't be long will you, Husband?
Husband: Oh no, vicar... it's just a question of signing a few forms.
(The vicar pours Husband a sherry)
Vicar: There we are... there we are, Mr Husband. Now, how about you, Mr Kirkham?
Kirkham: Well only if there's enough.
Vicar: Oh well, there's not much now.
Kirkham: Oh, in that case... no... I won't bother.
Vicar: (pouring himself one) Good.

Monty Python's Flying Circus