brevissimae bracae femineae

What is it about the Christian Church? First the Church of England attempts to 'get with it' by jumping on the Reality TV bandwagon with 'Priest Idol', and now the Vatican produces a Latin dictionary for theologians containing modern words such as hot pants, punk, drugs, pizza and Lambrusco. Hotpants are brevissimae bracae femineae, punk is punkianae catervae assecla, and the authors say they are doing it 'so that people who use Latin can write about the modern world.' It makes me wonder what these venerable theologians are scribbling away at in their cloistered cells. Are they writing seedy Latin thrillers with lines like: 'Listen punk, take your hands off my hot pants and give me all your drugs or I'll stuff that pizza where the sun don't shine'? Then there's Jimmy Swaggart, the depraved TV Evangelist who was caught with his pants down in the late 80's and publicly sobbed his way to absolution? Judging by his recent remarks about homosexual marriage, he's as mad as ever: 'I've never seen a man in my life I wanted to marry. And I'm gonna be blunt and plain; if one ever looks at me like that, I'm gonna kill him and tell God he died.'