ok let's catch up on some news
A German in a Hitler T-shirt was arrested for shouting "Sieg Heil". As police approached he ordered his dog, Adolf, to 'do the salute', upon which the dog raised its right paw. A stray pigeon which pecked a hole in a 17th century painting in an Amsterdam museum has been shot. A passenger on a domestic Russian flight was attacked by three drunken flight crew. Health officials in Romania called to investigate a smell of gas by a 74-year-old pensioner found a dead cow in his room. He refused to believe the rotting cow was causing the smell and said he cut off a strip and cooked it every time he was hungry. A Canadian scientist claims to have proved that the world's most expensive coffee tastes better because the beans have first been eaten and defecated by a wild cat. A Catholic priest and nun were caught having sex in an airport car park in Malawi. The public alerted airport police after noticing a car "shaking in a funny way". Horse flavoured ice cream is now on sale in Japan. A Dutch political party wants to make unsolicited toe-licking a criminal offence. A German court has ruled that Germans can stick their tongues out in passport photos. A woman hanging out washing in Suffolk was hit by a meteorite. A metre-long snake swam up the trunks of a man swimming in Norway. An Indian girls' school was closed after its students fell ill and began behaving like cats. A Bedfordshire man got a letter from Prudential Insurance addressed to Mr Shagslikeadonkey.