The President of Turkmenistan, Saparmurat Niyazov, has banned gold teeth in his latest decree. He has already banned opera and ballet because they are 'unnecessary', along with beards, long hair for men, and listening to car radios. The eccentric dictator, who has a giant revolving gold statue of himself in the capital, Ashgabat, has even instituted a holiday in honour of melons. 'This godsend has a glorious history,' Turkmenistan national television announced. 'Our great leader has brought the name of the tasty *melons to the level of a national holiday.'

* for more information about melons see Debbie Harry