I got a book entitled 'Fish Who Answer the Telephone and other Bizarre Books' for Christmas. It's a compilation of weird and wonderful book titles, with reproductions of some of the equally strange cover designs and occasional quotations from the books themselves. While browsing through second-hand bookshops I've often stumbled upon similar oddities myself, although I rarely buy them. Here, however, are a few gems from this bizarre anthology:
The Guide to Owning A Quaker Parrot, Not Worth Reading, Gardening with Brains, Hell: Where Is It?, Play with Your Own Marbles, Some Account of my Intercourse with Madam Blavatsky from 1872 to 1884, The Big Problem of Small Organs, Happy Though Married, The Art of Faking Exhibition Poultry, The Romance of the Beaver, Enjoy Your Skunks, Erections on Allotments, Proceedings of the Second International Workshop on Nude Mice, How to Enjoy Your Weeds, Twenty Beautiful Years of Bottom Physics, Briefs Calmly Considered, A Letter to the Man Who Killed My Dog, Squid Jiggling from Small Boats, Penetrating Wagner's Ring, The Romance of Leprosy, Harnessing the Earthworm, The Missing Fanny: A Tale of the Divorce Court, Queen Victoria and Ping-pong, A Complete and Illustrated Catalogue of Antique Barbed Wire, How to Write While You Sleep, and my personal favourite: What to Say When You Talk to Yourself.