Weebl and Bob - early years
My Little Dog
Once, on the beautiful island of Corfu, I had a little dog. He loved me, and I’m not ashamed to say that I loved him too. He was a mongrel, small, wiry haired, a sort of dusty yellow in colour, and ninety per cent terrier I’d say. It was his eyes that I remember most fondly. The small, bright, intelligent, pleading, affectionate eyes, looking up at me with the head cocked quizzically to one side. I remember that expression in the eyes, an expression of absolute love and devotion. I have a picture of him in exactly this posture. Sitting there on the sand, looking beseechingly in my direction, wondering, no doubt, what exactly I was doing with the black thing that was my camera. I went for a little swim in the sea that early summer morning, and sure enough he followed me, dog-paddling furiously in my wake. Alas, I cannot find the photograph.
Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling
For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all. Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants. Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli. Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spikingwerld.